“I Don’t Want to Disappear”: On Dressing for Middle Life

Dressing the woman I am today.

I started Devi in my late 40s. Now, at 51, I find myself thinking about what it means to dress the woman I am today. Not the woman I was at 30, or the woman a clothing company thinks I should aspire to become.

But the woman I am right now.

There's something wonderfully contradictory about this middle part of life. As women, we reach a stage where, in many ways, we've never felt more ourselves. We know what we like, what we don't, and we're far less interested in contorting ourselves to fit someone else's idea of who we should be.

And yet, there are moments when we wonder whether the world still sees us as clearly as we see ourselves.

Our bodies are changing, and so are our energy levels, our physical agility and sometimes even our mental resilience. Things that once came effortlessly now ask a little more of us. Clothes that fit beautifully a few years ago suddenly don't. Weight settles differently, waistlines feel less forgiving, and somehow we're made to feel that our bodies are the problem.

I reject that.

I don't want to spend this part of my life sucking in my stomach, tugging at a waistband or hiding parts of myself. Nor do I want to disappear into shapeless, forgettable clothing simply because I've reached a certain age.

I still want to be seen. I still want to feel beautiful. And I certainly don't want to make myself smaller, literally or metaphorically.

Perhaps that is what Devi has been about all along.

The women in the Devi community have taught me so much about this. You tell me when a silhouette doesn't flatter, when a waist falls in the wrong place, or when a dress needs to work just as beautifully on someone who is 5'2" as it does on someone who is 5'8".

Increasingly, I don't think of these conversations as simply customer feedback.

I think of them as women asking to be heard.

And I want Devi to be a place where we listen. Because I believe something very simple:

The clothes need to accommodate the woman. The woman does not need to accommodate the clothes.

For me, that means soft, beautiful cotton against my skin. A silhouette that falls gracefully over the body I have today. A dress I can slip on in the morning, wear with sneakers while running errands, pack into a suitcase for a day of exploring, or dress up for dinner without giving it a second thought.

Beautiful fabric. Thoughtful construction. Good stitching. Clothes that make everyday life just a little easier and more beautiful.

I want ease without giving up beauty. And I want color. Lots of it.

Maybe this is why I keep coming back to the Capri Dress

It embodies so much of what I want clothing at this stage of my life to feel like: comfortable without feeling sloppy, flattering without asking my body to be different, and pulled together without requiring much effort.

It doesn't ask me to fit into it. It fits into my life. Shop the Capri Dress →

And perhaps that's what I'm learning at 51. I don't need to become someone else to feel beautiful. I simply want to feel more like myself.

As the season changes and the days grow shorter, I hope you find a few moments to appreciate the woman you have become, in all her beautiful, messy fullness.

Onward, with care and intention.

With gratitude,
Rashmin
Founder, Devi

Find Devi at pop-up markets around the Bay Area. Follow @deviforlife on Instagram for upcoming dates, or write to me anytime at hello@deviforlife.com.